Off topic topic

"Supreme Chancellor and Glorious Leader SaveTheIntegras" (jegoingout) 10/02/2015 at 22:35 • Filed to: None

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Oppo what do you bring to a funeral? I have to attend one this Thursday out in Brooklyn and I am at a loss to it all. It’s for my girlfriends mother who passed suddenly wednesday.

Nibby > Supreme Chancellor and Glorious Leader SaveTheIntegras 10/02/2015 at 22:36

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Bring balloons, cake, noisemakers, a DJ, killer sound setup, and plenty of friends.

Put the fun in funeral.

 > Nibby 10/02/2015 at 22:38

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Perfect items to bring to possible future mother in law’s funeral.

wafflesnfalafel > Supreme Chancellor and Glorious Leader SaveTheIntegras 10/02/2015 at 22:39

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Just yourself. I went to a previous girlfriend’s mother’s funeral. She just needed someone to lean on. It won’t be pleasant, but you will not regret doing the right thing.

Wacko > Nibby 10/02/2015 at 22:43

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you forgot the beer

Svend > Supreme Chancellor and Glorious Leader SaveTheIntegras 10/02/2015 at 22:47

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You don’t need to take anything put be prepared for handing out tissues to your girlfriend. Just be there for her and give her a shoulder to cry on. Take a jacket or small coat to offer your girlfriend when she needs it, crying can normally cause a slight chill as the body goes through like a shock situation. Keep an eye out but not too obvious for benches or seats where you can take a moment and rest. Generally just be there for her.

Chariotoflove > Supreme Chancellor and Glorious Leader SaveTheIntegras 10/02/2015 at 22:50

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I like Nibbly’s list, but really just put on a nice suit and a quiet, respectful demeanor. Most of it is being there. Speak if you are spoken to or are needed or engaged in any way. Otherwise, stay on the periphery and don’t intrude unless you were close to the deceased. The last thing you want to do is to make the grieving relatives feel like they have to spend energy being attentive to you.

Big Bubba Ray > Supreme Chancellor and Glorious Leader SaveTheIntegras 10/02/2015 at 22:53

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This will sound totally cliche, but a simple arrangement of flowers will do just fine. An Orchid or something else.

My grandpa passed in 2008. My grandpa was one of my best friends and was my greatest role model. An extremely good friend of mine gave me a single yellow rose the day of his funeral and I still have that flower. It’s hanging in my room, upside down, completely wilted and borderline falling apart, but it means so much to me that I cannot throw it away.

Give her and her family a single flower, or an arrangement, with a heartfelt note and they will literally remember it forever.

Mr. Ontop, No Strokes, No Smokes...Goes Fast. > Nibby 10/02/2015 at 22:55

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You are horrible.... I think that is why I like you.

G_Body_Man: Sponsored by the number 3 > Supreme Chancellor and Glorious Leader SaveTheIntegras 10/02/2015 at 22:56

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Given that others have said to just bring yourself to support your girlfriend, I’m going to chime in with my second best answer - alcohol.

Supreme Chancellor and Glorious Leader SaveTheIntegras > G_Body_Man: Sponsored by the number 3 10/02/2015 at 22:57

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I was considering something nice like that then remembered her dad drunk is literally the worst thing to ever walk the earth

G_Body_Man: Sponsored by the number 3 > Supreme Chancellor and Glorious Leader SaveTheIntegras 10/02/2015 at 22:58

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As in gives people a beat down, or as in will vomit on your shoes?

Supreme Chancellor and Glorious Leader SaveTheIntegras > G_Body_Man: Sponsored by the number 3 10/02/2015 at 22:59

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as in will hold nothing back...and he’s not exactly fond of me when sober

Nibby > Mr. Ontop, No Strokes, No Smokes...Goes Fast. 10/02/2015 at 23:00

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OP knows that... and he also knows I’m sorry for his girlfriend’s loss... I can’t really say much else but I know he’s a good lad and he’ll be there for his girlfriend when she needs him.

G_Body_Man: Sponsored by the number 3 > Supreme Chancellor and Glorious Leader SaveTheIntegras 10/02/2015 at 23:02

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You’re in a Catch-22, my friend. If you don’t bring something nice for him, he will feel displeasure. If you bring him something nice, he will roast you. Does he smoke? Maybe a few fine cigars would be in order.

Supreme Chancellor and Glorious Leader SaveTheIntegras > G_Body_Man: Sponsored by the number 3 10/02/2015 at 23:04

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shocking no he doesn’t smoke. Admittingly for the two years I’ve known dated her I don’t know much about her father, aside from some rather unkind details

G_Body_Man: Sponsored by the number 3 > Supreme Chancellor and Glorious Leader SaveTheIntegras 10/02/2015 at 23:07

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What about an engraved flask? Engrave it with “in loving memory of (insert name here).” I think it will make for a neat, thoughtful gift that will be used for years to come.

Supreme Chancellor and Glorious Leader SaveTheIntegras > G_Body_Man: Sponsored by the number 3 10/02/2015 at 23:08

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I really do appreciate your input. I know I’ll have to get something for him, despite a rather uncomfortable relationship

pip bip - choose Corrour > Supreme Chancellor and Glorious Leader SaveTheIntegras 10/02/2015 at 23:18

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sorry to hear that.

just turn up in a suit and tie , you’ll be fine.

are you a pall bearer or is she being cremated?

Supreme Chancellor and Glorious Leader SaveTheIntegras > pip bip - choose Corrour 10/02/2015 at 23:19

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she’s being cremated to my knowledge

Spaceball-Two > Supreme Chancellor and Glorious Leader SaveTheIntegras 10/02/2015 at 23:24

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Tissues / handkerchief for the lady. That is all. Just be there for support.

TheHondaBro > Nibby 10/02/2015 at 23:33

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Dude, that’s completely inappropriate.

It should be a black cake. Y’know, funeral and all.

Nibby > TheHondaBro 10/02/2015 at 23:40

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Chocolate cake.

TheHondaBro > Nibby 10/02/2015 at 23:50

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We must go darker.

Fuckin. Vegemite. Cake.

Nibby > TheHondaBro 10/02/2015 at 23:50

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BURNT CAKE

Supreme Chancellor and Glorious Leader SaveTheIntegras > Nibby 10/02/2015 at 23:53

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I’m sure her dads side of the family will have a party (they throw crazy parties for any reason)...but i doubt my girlfriend will want to go.

+1 for chocolate cake idea

Mr. Ontop, No Strokes, No Smokes...Goes Fast. > Nibby 10/03/2015 at 00:41

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Hey I’m all about the inappropriate jokes. Sometimes that’s what it takes.

TheRealBicycleBuck > Supreme Chancellor and Glorious Leader SaveTheIntegras 10/03/2015 at 05:54

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Dress nice. Bring tissues.

BJ > Supreme Chancellor and Glorious Leader SaveTheIntegras 10/03/2015 at 07:03

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As others have mentioned, dress nice and have a pair of handkerchiefs or some small kleenex packs in you pocket. Your girlfriend will cry and you may get some dust in your eyes, too.

Ask your girlfriend, or the family member who is organizing the funeral, what to bring - if anything. I’ve seen families demand “no flowers” because it can be a lot to handle on top of everything else.

You’ve mentioned your uncomfortable relationship with the father. Bring him a card with a kind message. Take the time to shake his hand and look him in the eye when you offer your condolences. You might want to offer your assistance, either with the day or in the future, in whatever capacity you can. He might not like you but he might appreciate if you can be useful. In my opinion, do not bring him a gift.

I’m sorry for your loss.

The Compromiser > Supreme Chancellor and Glorious Leader SaveTheIntegras 10/03/2015 at 09:36

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Kleenex. The good stuff. Not cheap shit. Cough candies/normal candies and gum. Water. Your shoulder and a resilient hand. A calm and sympathetic attitude.

Rico > Nibby 10/03/2015 at 11:54

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And a 40 oz to pour out!